being a dad

 The debacle of having been separated from my family took it's toll on me. I am still angry and sore from the whole thing. 

The mal-administration of VFS and home affairs really fucked me. I am not wholly convinced that this was a necessary experience. I could have done without it. 

I will make them acknowledge their fuckup one of these days. I wish I wasn't depressive. I've been seeing a therapist. Not a very African, African thing to do. Seeking counseling. It helps. I wonder what it's actually doing journaling these thoughts down. What is the actual science behind it all I wonder? 

An exercise for another day I suppose. I do miss having a scheduled existence that allowed for learning and growing. I do so little of that these last few years. It's possible I have digressed. I need to get back to that awesome space where I can do all things.

Ariko is all I spend my days doing. Ariko allows me to dad. I love this lil fucker so very much. He is brilliant. I love the way he speaks. He has his own take on everything. Hajdor is haaaydooo & Boppa is B'paah. 

I love the things he reminds me about what humanity is capable of being...

Innocence is beautiful